Are You Kidding Me?

There’s one thing on eHarmony that I really can’t stand.

Underneath one of the many sections you fill out, there is a place to pick Must-Have’s and Can’t-Stands. These are statements that you pick out that are most important to you in another partner.

One of them says something like ‘I must have a partner who is considered “very attractive” by most current standards.’ And if this is really really important to you, you can list it as one of your ‘Must Haves’.

I’m not sure why this is there, really. I mean, when someone lists that as something they absolutely MUST HAVE, it turns me off. And many of the guys that check that box are hardly considered “very attractive by most current standards”.

Of the many statements that are listed, is that really one of the most important things they are looking for? I mean, attraction is a must-have, but why must they be attractive to people in society? Aren’t there people that are attracted to someone, not because they are wanted by everyone else in the world, but because they see something in that person that others might not see?

I doubt I’ll have much luck on this site, because I don’t like many of the statements that they want you to pick. Plus, I specifically state that I don’t want any matches that have children, yet I get many of those everyday.

Oh well, we’ll see what happens I guess.

Okay, I was at my store today and it was a pretty quiet day. That is, until I had two customers come in complaining about a mysterious ’substance’ out by the gas pumps.

The first customer told me it looked like somebody vomited by the pump, and the second customer was an old man that barely spoke English, but I got out of him that there was something by the pump, and he could have slipped on it and then we’d have a lawsuit on our hands. (Watching someone slip on puke may have actually been worth it….)

So, let me explain about me and puke. I hate it. Puke makes me want to puke right next to the pile of puke I’m looking at. When my cats throw up, it makes me sick. I could seriously look at or clean up anything else in the world, just not vomit.

So, when I was told about this stuff near the gas pump, my coworker and I peered out there and could see something resembling chunks on the ground. I started getting queasy just looking at it from afar. I told my coworker to grab the binoculars and look at it just to make sure it was indeed vomit.

She did, and confirmed our suspicions. We argued back and forth who was going to go out there and throw some water on it to wash it away. I, of course, won the argument because even just talking about cleaning it up was making my eyes water.

So I decided to check our security tape to see who this lovely person was that blew chunks all over the parking lot. It was easy to spot, I just rewound the video until I noticed the splatter on the ground.

About a half hour before customers started complaining about it, I rang up a women who bought coffee. She made a few jokes with me, then went to her car. I watched as she set her coffee on top of her car, opened her car door, grabbed her coffee cup, then got in and closed her door. But oh, there she goes opening her car door again, sticking her head out the door and puking all over the ground.

Now, this pisses me off for a few reasons. First, nobody wants to see puke on the ground or potentially slip on it. Second, if you puke on the ground, that means some poor employee is going to have to clean your puke up. Three, she should have had enough courteosy to come back in the store, tell us she was sick or something, and told us about the puke so that we could clean it up. We’ve had people come in before and tell us of their indescretions. Hell, we even had someone crap his pants all over the floor, and even he had the nerve to clean it up instead of running out of the store like we wouldn’t notice.

So, to the woman that puked at Pump #6 today, I thank you for making my coworker clean up your chunky corn-filled mess. It really made our day to see the contents of your stomach all over the ground. Please come back real soon.

Well, I did absolutely nothing today but play my new Nintendo DS that I received this morning. I’ve been playing The Simpsons, Super Mario, Slingo and my personal fav, The Price Is Right.

I seriously haven’t gotten anything done today, so I have to learn to budget my time and do this better.

As for my blog post yesterday, I think everyone I’ve talked to is in agreement that if a guy that you just met DOES ask you back to his place, it’s not likely a good thing. I mean, it could be, I guess, but in my experience, they usually just want one thing.

And you know what? I’d also like to point out that this blog is my opinion, and my opinion only. So if someone doesn’t like my opinion on something, you are free to stop reading at any time. This is who I am and what I write about is what goes through my mind.

I’ve had tons of experiences with jerks, which makes me who I am today. That is why I am skeptical of most men now, and never take anything seriously. Because none of them have ever proven to me that they are worth my time.

You may want to call me a man hater, and that’s fine. I don’t care. But until I find that one guy who is worth it to me, the rest of you can $#&^ off.

Well, it actually happened. My sister met a guy from eHarmony the other night, while I sat a few tables away.

My friend and I ended up getting there before they did, and we were seated all the way in the back, facing the whole restaurant. Perfect view.

My sister meets the guy outside and they walk in together. He’s cute, in a dorky sort of way, but doesn’t really look like the pictures he posted.

I tried to get a good look at them, but there was a bald guy in my line of vision, so I had to peek around him a few times. Her eHarmony guy made eye contact with me twice, so I got scared that I was caught, and stopped staring. I was all paranoid that he would see the resemblance in us, but with my VERY blond highlights now, I still don’t see how people can think we look so much alike.

According to her, after they left the restaurant, he asked her if she wanted to do something else. So she said yeah, we can go to a bar. He told her he didn’t go to bars and that they could go back to his place to watch a movie (which was 45 minutes away).

She declined, and said he seemed to get mad about it. He then said ‘So what, are you going out with friends or something?’ and she told him Yes. I guess that seemed to make him more irritated.

The night ended with a hug for her, but she didn’t feel the connection and hasn’t heard from him since. Guess he wasn’t too happy that she wouldn’t go to his place.

What does he expect though? I mean, if a girl that you Just Met doesn’t want to go back to your place, why get mad about it?

I think that’s what ruined his chances. She was totally turned off by that.  I would have been, too. But I would have told him that I just met him and there was no way I was going back to his place. Oh well, she’s been talking to someone else on eHarm, so hopefully that is a better choice.

So, I haven’t been on eHarmony much since I’ve been preoccupied with reading the Twilight series (I’m happy to say I’m done now, so I feel like I can breathe!) Anyways, I decided to go on eHarmony today to clean out some of my old matches, and respond to some others, etc.

I start looking through new matches that I’ve gotten, and I seriously can’t believe some of the guys on there.

One of them, under ‘Things I Can’t Live Without’ lists ‘Marijuana’ as one of his necessities. Really?

Another one I just stumbled across has a picture of himself laying all across a pile of money.

And there are countless ones that have pictures of themselves with girls who were obviously their girlfriends at one time. Do I need to conduct a class on using the ‘crop’ tool?

One guy even listed for his occupation: ‘Disability’ but spelled it wrong! ‘Diability’

Come on, guys, you should really put a little more effort into it, you ARE paying for it, right?

Well, at least it gave me something to laugh at today.

So my friend and I had a discussion tonight, and I told her I was getting another tattoo and told her it was most likely going to go on the back of my neck. She said this was trashy, and that I should get it somewhere else. I disagree, I’ve seen a lot of girls with tattoos on the backs of their necks, and they look pretty darn cool. Anyone else have any opinions on this?

In other news, I haven’t been getting any writing done because I’ve been obsessed with finishing up the Twilight series.

I started reading the first book a long time ago, just when there was only one book. I loved it so much that I always remembered it. So a few weeks ago I ordered the second book, read that in one night and actually ran up to Borders and spent the money to get the last two in hardback. (I usually only buy paperback books, but couldn’t wait on this series).

I haven’t seen the movie yet, and don’t know if I want to because I keep hearing bad reviews on it. But this last book is just…..awesome. I went out tonight, and couldn’t wait to get home to read more of it. I have about 600 more pages to go, but I’m sure i’ll finish it by tomorrow.

I hope everyone had a nice New Years. I ended up staying at home doing paperwork until the clock hit midnight.

What a way to celebrate. :)  Actually, it was very nice and calm, just like I hope this year is.

Tomorrow is the day my sister meets that guy from eHarmony…where I will be secretly hiding with my friend.

Thinking about it, I don’t think I’ll have anyone come with me when I meet someone. I’m not really afraid of being assaulted or anything like that, so there’s no need to have anyone else there.

I’m off to bed. I spent most of the day reading book 3 in the Twilight series. At least I finished it - now I can move on to the last and final one…for now. I swear, I can’t concentrate on anything else when I’m reading those books.

Well, today is New Years Eve, and what do I usually do on this day? Not a thing. Not since New Years Eve a few years ago…

My friends and I heard about a singles party that went on every year so we decided to check it out, instead of bringing in the New Year at some bar.

This singles party was held at a Holiday Inn near where I lived, so we were kind of excited to go somewhere different. Once there, we paid about $40 each to get in. Yes, it was very expensive, but we thought we’d celebrate in style.

Once inside the huge ballroom, we couldn’t really see much because it was kind of dark. But we could see enough to know that there were a lot of people there. We decided to make our way around the room to check it out. Big mistake that was.

As soon as we walked together (all 4 of us), we all felt like we were on display. We literally felt like pieces of cattle being paraded around for buyers. Creepy men were leering at us, cat-calling, and other various hand gestures to try to get our attention.

As for the women, most were very older than ourselves and on the dance floor, wearing such low-cut tops that I feared their boobs would pop out when they went to raise their arms.

All of us wanted to leave, but I didn’t want to waste what we had paid to get in. So I made my friends go out on the dance floor with me and at least dance off some of the money we paid to get in. We danced, while quickly looking around to watch our backs, for about 5 minutes and bolted out of there.

Of course, we ended up celebrating the New Year at some bar, but it was a helluva lot better than staying at that sausage fest. I have since warned others to never EVER go to a singles party at the Holiday Inn.

Have a safe and happy New Year to everyone!

Smooth Talker came in today. Of course I wasn’t expecting him, because the weather outside is so cold and I figured they’d be done by now working on whatever roof they are working on.

As soon as I saw him get out of his truck with his crew, I was like ‘God, no’, but there was nowhere to go because it was just me and the woman I work with.

So he gets his stuff and comes up to me all smiles. And this time, I treated him like a normal customer. He still proceeded to ask me if I lost his phone number, to which I replied that the phone works both ways, and he just smiled and laughed.

So his buddy comes up next to him, and he tells his buddy about how much I must hate him, because I’ll go out with him, then disappear, then go out with him, then disappear. I just rolled my eyes and told him to have a nice day. After lingering for a bit, he left.

But I had mixed emotions after he left.

First, I was happy to see that I don’t want to be around him anymore - I guess the fact that he ’scams’ girls on Craigslist turned me off.

Second, I was angry after he left because I just don’t want to see him in there anymore. I just want him to go away. Everything’s done and over with, I don’t want to be around him.

So that kind of ruined my whole day, so I rushed home to finish reading Twilight, and fell into Edward-land, which got my mind off of things.

I guess I can say I’m making progress - because before when he came in I couldn’t resist him, and now I guess I’m repulsed by him.

Yay for me?

So, I had my sister sign up for eHarmony about a month ago, and this Friday she’s going to meet someone. They are meeting at a place about a half hour from us, and she wants me to go with her.

But she has rules.

1) I can’t look at her.

2) I can’t laugh.

3) I can’t make fun of her afterwards.

4) I can’t laugh. (She stressed this point many times)

Honestly, I hope I can follow all of her rules. It’s going to be hard, because I’ll want to pick on her for everything I see her do.

But I’ll be good.

I think.

Considering most people think we’re twins (I don’t see it), I don’t see how this guy won’t recognize me if he happens to see me. Luckily, I’ll be there with my friend and he’ll keep me from exposing my identity.

Which makes me wonder….has anyone out there also gone with their friends to give them support when meeting someone online? How did it go? Did you have to rescue your friend during the date?