She Lives

My Divinely Inspired (read: ONLY) Kitchen Tip

Not to mention the obvious or anything, but I don't post recipes much.  I think I posted a crock pot recipe once.  Took me two weeks to write.  On high.

And I don't blog much about food.  I eat food. 

When it comes to handy dandy kitchen tips, there's a bit of a deficit there as well I'm afraid.  To be honest, I'm neither handy nor dandy in the kitchen.  More like mamby.  Or pamby.

But there is a God in heaven.  And He does love me. And He has blessed me with a single, solitary kitchen tip.  Either that or it was a total and complete accident that I discovered this little trick one day when I didn't plan ahead for supper and sort of did this whole panic-cooking thing for which I am notorious.  Personally, this tip is so good that I'm convinced it was divinely inspired.  Either way, I will now share with you, dear readers.  You're welcome.

It involves cutting chicken.  I'll call it...

Carol's Cut Chick Tip. 

Okay, that's not so good.  How about...

Carol's Chick Cut Tip.

Chick Cut Carol's Tip?

Tip Carol's Cut Chick?

Gah!  I can't name a darned thing.  I'm so bad at naming things I had to give my kids used names.  They named the dog.   My bird is six years old and has no name at all.  Pathetic, I know.

So, start with a knife, a cutting board and boneless, skinless chicken breasts.  Boneless, skinless, chicken thighs work, too. 

Dang!  I think my bird heard that.  She's carrying on something fierce right now.  I mean, the feathers are flying and the cage is shaking.  Okay, I'll whisper.

Take the boneless, skinless you-know-what breasts and thighs...

You know, I've seen a spineless sap and a jerk with no backbone.  I've even seen a few limp wrists.  But I've never seen a boneless, skinless chicken.  I really think they're making that up. 

So, you know how raw boneless skinless...uh....chickens... are sort of slimy?  And how it's really hard to slice and dice them?  You grab the knife and apply it to the flesh, sawing back and forth and it sort of undulates beneath the blade as the metal rips through the muscle, making it slither and twist and writhe...  It's enough to make you go vegan.  Seriously.

Or you can use a cleaver.  And hack it to pieces, - Whap, whap, whap! - hoping chicken juices don't squirt all over the place.  Take THAT and THAT and THAT!!  Careful not to lose a finger with that technique.

Uh-oh. I said the CH word again.  Bird is going bonkers, screeching to beat all.  Shut up, bird!!   Huh.  Now she's giving me the stink eye.

I don't know why I got that bird, really.  A friend of mine's kids bred two birds and sold the chicks as a 4H project.  I mean come on.  Do I LOOK like I need a bird?  But kids are so cute with their smiles and dimples and big, innocent eyes. And I'm such a sucker for kids.  We know how they all turn out, of course.  Yeah.  As grownups.  Bah!

Umm...Chicken!  I mean...chicken.

I know they say you're not supposed to this, but I use the defrost setting on my microwave to partially thaw the chicken. Which begs the question, if you're not supposed to defrost meat in the microwave, why is there a "defrost meat" setting on it, hmmmm....?  I say it's a CIA plot to keep us in a perpetual panic over what to cook for supper when we forget to put meat in the fridge the day before, is what I think.  Yeah.

This technique requires careful defrosting, though.  You don't want it completely thawed.  (Of course! Which is the whole point of this post.  Finally!!!!)  In order to keep the you-know-what from thawing completely, what I do is I lie.  Unconscionable, I know.  But I tell the microwave the chicken weighs only half of what it really does.

What?  Like, you've never lied about your weight?  *snort* 

When the chicken is only partially thawed - still a little hard and icy in the middle - it absolutely cuts like a dream!  Well, more like an apple, really. I've never cut a dream.  I've cut a fa...   Um... [cough]

Oh, and it's okay to toss the partially thawed chicken into your recipe without further thawing.

Shut up, bird!

So that's how you make cutting up boneless skinless breasts and thighs a whole lot easier.

SHUT UP, BIRD!!!!

Works for me!

A Little Sidetrack

Do you ever get sidetracked?  Especially when things are going really good?

It's like you're right on course so you don't have to focus quite so hard on the given task.  You're able to put it on mental auto-pilot so you can concentrate more deliberately on other things that require attention.  Then wham-o!  You notice you took a fork in the road somewhere and took off on some wild trajectory.

I have been known to begin a simple task that I've done a b'zillion times, space out for a bit, then wake up to wonder, "Wait.  Where was I going?  And how did I get here?"  Wherever here is.  Which is usually in the middle of nowhere.  Or the kitchen.  Holding something weird like the telephone, a roll of duct tape and the dog's leash.  Which makes me wonder if I was planning to call Jack Bauer to take my dog for a walk.  Because that's how my mind works. 

Scary, I know.

Those of us who are quasi ADD-DD-DDDD-D (namely me) are most susceptible to the whole side-tracking phenomenon.  Daily.  Or, in my case, hourly.  And that's on a good day.  Wild trajectories comprise the better part of my existence.  It's a good thing the world is round so I eventually end up getting where I was headed. Eventually.

She Lives got a bit side-tracked for a time.  (Excuse me while I act surprised.) When I did a *snap* and looked around I realized I'd lost touch with some of the blog friends I'd developed relationships with prior to my blogish space-out, I lamented.  And repented.  So, the month of December was spent reconnecting with some of the best blog buds a mental case girl could ever have.  I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it.  Or maybe I'm choking on this cinnamon roll.  Either way . . .

Today, I'd like to introduce you to one of my not-so-long lost blog buds.  (Make new friends but keep the old, right?) 

As an aside, reconnecting with blog buds in December is a good plan.  It's like sending out Christmas cards to folks you haven't visited with in a year.  Just in case you ever do get sidetracked by life.

Now, where was I going with this?  Phone, duct tape, dog leash...?  Oh, yeah! 

I first met up with her blog in the fall of '06 and immediately felt the kind of connection you get when you just know you're going to like someone but you wonder if the feeling will be mutual because insecurities just mess with your head.  She's cute and funny and writes well and is always chipper and upbeat even when she's being serious.  And I just wanna be.

The more I read her blog and swapped emails with her, the more I realized she's almsot as nit-witted as I am a lot like me in some ways.  We definitely shared some underlying goals for our blogs.  But she stayed on track while I got distracted. 

When we reunited it was a beautiful thing with flower petals floating down from the sky sun-drenched skies and choruses of angelic voices rejoicing all around and woodland critter frolicking about other sappy movie stuff.  Either that or I had too much fruitcake over the holidays.

Yesterday, she touched my heart with this post.  Which reminded me of my dad.  I think it was the third time I've ever reached for Kleenex while reading a blog post. Ever.  It wasn't sad, just touching.  Especially with me sitting here days away from the anniversary of my dad's passing a few years back.  Yeah, I still miss him.

She also writes for some of the online blog magazines 'round the 'sphere.  Because when you don't let yourself get sidetracked and you have a great blog and scads of people love reading what you write, that happens.  You'll know what I'm talking about when it happens to you. 

So, give it up for my friend, Robin at Pensieve everybody!  But be warned - She's way addictive!!  And just as adorable on Twitter as she is on her blog.

(Lova ya, girl!  If I get sidetracked again, hit me upside my addled head with a fruitcake or something.)

Have you lost touch with some of your blog buds?  Reconnecting in the New Year can be a good plan, too.  Don't you think so?

Oh. Almost forgot.  This post is part of a new meme.  'Cause I don't get all sappy for no reason, y'all.

Yet Another Jay and Deb Production.

Free Handwriting Analysis

When I was a psych nurse, I took a little course in handwriting analysis, formally known as graphology or graphoanalysis.  It was interesting.  I had fun with it.   It makes for fun party tricks. 

If you've ever wondered what your handwriting says about you, this is your lucky day!

The TUL Handwriting Analysis.

It's free and it's fun.  You have to do it. Yeah, I know it's a pen ad.  Whatever.  It's still fun.  (And no, I'm not getting paid for the link.  gah!)

So! What were your results? Any other right-slanting, big-looped, short-T-crossers out there? 

Don't want to share?  Hmmm...I bet you fully close your o's and a's.

Yeah.

ht:  Kevin

One of THOSE Days

This is one of THOSE days.

As you read this, I am probably in the midst of an marathon rehearsal with Church Chix in preparation for our upcoming tour which begins later this month. 

Okay, so it's just a weekend ladies' retreat gig.  But when you go on the road to play with your band in a different city, leaving your family at home to fend for themselves for more than one night, I think you should get to say you're on tour. 

But, that's just me.

Our demo, the one we totally recorded in Toni's kitchen and pretty much sounds like it, is on our MySpace Page.   I'd be honored if you wanted to listen to it.  Because I seriously doubt anyone else ever does.

I'll let you know when we'll be playing in a city near you. Maybe I'll do a give-away for backstage passes.

UPDATE:   The link should work now.  Here it is written out in longhand for you to copy/paste if the above clickable doesn't cough up the goods: http://www.myspace.com/churchchicks

Back to School

 Well!  I'm going back to school!  Yessiree.  Me.  College-bound. Give me a backpack and an iPod so I won't be so conspicuous, right?  'Cause at my age . . .Ahem!

I guess the first time around didn't quite stick.  I mean, I have the diploma and all saying I have a B.S. in Nursing, which I've always considered quite appropriate - ummm... Not the nursing part.  But, since I haven't worked as a nurse in the past twelve years, I have to go get me some more book learnin'.

And the congregation says, "Amen!"

Because really - Do you want to wake up in the emergency room with a nurse standing over you who hasn't held a stethoscope in twelve years?   Right.

There are some things I have to do before my enrollment can be finalized, however.  Because you don't just waltz in, take the classes and get back to work.  That would be way too easy. 

And nothing says, "We're desperate for nurses" quite like making it really difficult for us to get back into the work force.

I have to take a CPR course.   Nobody wants a nurse that can't do CPR.  And it's been a while since I've had the course.  The funny thing about CPR is that, in the twenty years I worked in hospitals, I only had to put my highly trained CPR skillz to use one time.  When I was walking my dog in the park.  And a guy dropped dead on the nearby soccer field.  I kept him going until the ambulance arrived. It was pretty gross.  It was on a Saturday and I swear he'd tied one on really tight with his soccer buddies the night before.  I mean he truly tasted like regurgitated tequilla. (No need to ask me how I know what regurgitated tequilla tastes like, okay?)   I never did find out whether the guy lived to party on after that.

I have to pay money.  College costs, people!  A LOT!  And I don't get to go on scholarships this time around.  Thankfully, it's only one class.  One stinkin' 'spensive class, I tell ya.  I'm lookin' for a solid gold diploma when I'm done here.

I have to get my tetanus shot updated.  When was the last time you got a tetanus shot, hmmm...?  You're supposed to get one every ten years.  Unless you get a bad cut. Then it's only good for 5 years.  No clue why that is. So you don't get tetanus, I guess. 

And I have to get a TB skin test.   Nobody wants a nurse coughing blood all over them while taking their pulse, right?   I get that.  I'm thinking I'll pass this nursing refresher course with flying colors. 

How'm I doing so far?

Finally, before I go back to school, I have to have a note from my mom.  Yeah. I know.  It floored me, too.  My mom with Alzheimer's.  She has to write a note to the teacher saying I really did have the chicken pox and measles and mumps when I was a little girl.  So I don't have to get those shots, too.

"Dear Ms. Teacher,  Please excuse Carol from getting shots.  She was sick.  Forty years ago.  Sincerely, Carol's Mom."

I just hope she remembers.  Shots suck aspirate. (See?  I got me some terminology!)

After I get all that done, I'm gunning for a cush desk job reviewing charts or something.  I don't think I have the energy for delivering babies again.  Or for child/adolescent psychiatry.  That right there is probably what caused my own pathology. Either that or my condition is organic and fraught with solid defense mechanisms. 

It's just easier that way.

After a couple of years pushing a pencil sitting at a computer, the plan is for me to sign on for my master's degree.  What can I say?  It's a mountain.  Why not give it a climb?  Can't be any more challenging than these past sixteen years of motherhood.  Seriously.  The pressure has been UN-stinkin'-REAL!!  I'm thinking graduate courses are much less life-threatening than spoon-feeding.  Spoon feeding nearly did me in, people.  

If you could go back to school again,assuming you would even want to, what would you study this time around?

Do not say 'music' lest I weep.

2009 Goals

2009 Goals!?!?!?

Um...maybe I should rephrase that.  How about "Goals for 2009."  Yeah. That's better.  Because there are only 13 of them, not 2009.  That would be vast.

I also need to make one thing perfectly clear here: These are NOT resolutions.  I am not that highly resolved to this list.  They're more like things I'm striving for.  Or maybe "strong suggestions to self."  That way, if my resolve fails, the guilt doesn't mess with my already questionable psyche. 

Got that?   These are not resolutions! 

Just so you know...

So!  Looking forward to 2009, I really should...

1)  Switch from paper calendar to hand-held.  My new, hip,urbane iPhone's calendar synchs with my family's frumpy, shared Google Calendar.  Yay!  I am so going to miss my darling Moleskins, though.  I adore Moleskin and all their sleek, organizational, note-bookish practicality.  Truly.  (C'mon, Moleskin guys!  Develop an iPhone app!  Hurry!!!)

2)  Actually record appointments and other scheduled events onto the calendar.  My Moleskins were not always consistently utilized to their *ahem!* full potential.  *cough, cough*  Will I do better with the urbane hand-held?  One can only hope.

3)  See Steely Dan live in concert. They call me Deacon Blues, y'all!

4)  Ditto Led Zeppelin.  But only if Robert Plant joins them.  (Jerk!)

5)  Get serious about purchasing some decent shoes.  And clothes.  In other words, do a little shopping, fortheloveofchic!  If anyone needs a wardrobe consultant, it is moi.  Seriously.  I need one of you uber-shoppers to go with me to teach me what is cute.  'Cause I am the Queen of Frump, people.  It's not for lack of funds; it's for lack of concern.  (There should be a reality TV show.  Most assuredly.)

6)  Unpack and rid myself of the contents of the remaining boxes in the guest room closet that contain my kids' toys and books from when they were little.  They're 16 and 12 now.  We don't need Talking Big Bird and Goodnight Moon anymore.  And no, I'm not saving everything for grandkids.  Mentally, I just can't go there.

7)  Have more attic space floored so I can at least save a FEW things for grandkids. (I love Talking Big Bird, man.)

8)  Be invited to guest post on a super blog.  I know I have some serious expertise in...something.  I mean, I could write a book about everything I know.  Or maybe a pamphlet.  Either way, I would rock a guest post off it's axis.  Spread the word!

9)  Continue to avoid signing on for every stinkin' volunteer position that comes along.   I was way more selective in 2008 than previous years.  (Yay, me!)  I wasn't on the board of directors for ANYTHING last year and actually led a semi-normal life.  (Yay me, again!)  For for the first time in ten years!  (Umm...yay?)


10)  Read all the books currently on my TBR shelf.  Yeah, those need to all be gone by this time next year.  (Except maybe The Historian.  That one might creep me out too much.) Good thing there aren't very many books on my TBR shelf, huh?  Plenty of room for me to add more along the way.

11)  Obtain an extra amp that I can leave at the studio.  Okay, two extra amps - one for each studio - so I can stop hauling my main rig around everywhere.  (Note to self:  Shop used!)

12)  Seek and find a different church.  Nothing's wrong with the current one.  We need one where the family can serve, though.  (Totally unrelated to #9.)

13)   Visit and read a minimum of 25 quality blogs/day, leaving a thoughtful comment on at least half of them.  Which means that each day there will be 12.5 of you who won't even know I was there.

That's 13 things.  Yeah, I know Thursday 13 is no more.  But old habits are hard to kick. Even in a New Year. 

Let's rock '09!

Bonus:  Felt led to share this - To be more purposeful in my prayer life.  I now have a way to keep better track of prayer requests using rocking, new, iPhone technology.  I intend to put it to good use!  My first prayer of the New Year is for all of you.  Be blessed. 

She Lives' Best of 2008

Note:  The following list of posts isn't necessarily in ascending or descending order.  I'm not that good. 

'Nother Note:  Some of these were auto-closed to comments along the way.  I've tried to re-open comments, but it's not working.  If you'd like to leave me a little feedback on any of the posts listed below, feel free to do so here. (I would flat out love it if you did!!!)

Here are my Top Ten Posts for 2008 according to ... me!

10.  The post in which I Die.  Which, it turns out, was really just a near death experience involving definitively dead mice.

9.  Part One of my interview with legendary bassist and musician, Carol Kaye.  You can follow links from there to the other four parts of that week-long session with The First Lady of Bass.  (Still can't believe she granted me an interview!!!)

8.  Live Music: Hanging By a Thread -  Do you like music?  Really?  You're certain?

7.  101 Things About Elixir - What can I say?  I love my band!  101 things seems like a lot, but it's worth it.  (I'll do 101 Things about my other band, Church Chix, one day soon.)

6.  Interview with Judy Davids, author of Rockstar Mommy; My Life as a Rocker Mom.

5. Uh-Oh!  She's Been Reading Again - 13 book reviews.  Some great, some good, some...so-so.  Now you, too, can add to your TBR piles!

4.  13 Books You May (or May Not) Want to Read Some Day - 13 more book reviews.  (What am I to do without the Thursday Thirteen meme, people?!?!?!)

3.  This one's a two-fer:  13 Ways to Get Kids to Practice Their Instruments and Tips for Choosing an Instrument for Your Beginner  - I think the titles are self-explanatory.  I hope someone finds the posts helpful.

2.   I Am the Teen Clean Queen - A WMFW submission containing my top secret, patented, scientifically proven methodology for getting older kids to clean their rooms.  I'll sell it to ya for cheap!

1.  And my #1 post for 2008 is...[C'mon, baby! Get that drumroll going!]

This post right here!!! 

'Cause what on earth could be better than a post that gives me ten linkbacks!?!?

I know you want to leave a comment on my best post of the year, don't you?  How about a link to one of your best 2008 posts?  I'd love to check it out!