Lost

I don't know what to write at the moment, but Lennon's song How pretty much sums up how I'm feeling: Lost and directionless.

Dealing With Spam Blogs

Thought I'd post this quick tidbit here. I've recently received a few comments from someone who runs another blog on Blogger. These comments have generally taken the same form; a one sentence comment that has vague relevance to the post, and then a link to a completely irrelevant website posted in the comment text.

I won't post the address of the spam blog in question here, however thanks to the wonderful SezWho I can link you too a list of some of the comments this "person" has left, and you can see all their comments take the same form: [SezWho Profile]

If you get comments like this and you're sure it's spam rather than someone trying to share a useful site with you, then please report it to the blog provider. I'm not sure for WordPress etc, but for Blogger you can report Spam Blogs here: [Blogger Spam Blog Report].

If we all act diligently hopefully we can help alleviate this irritating rash over the Blog-o-sphere.

List of the Day

I'm kinda bored so I decided to share a little of myself with you. No, not in that way. Honestly, you're a bunch of perverts!

I've decided to share some of my personality with you. My likes, dislikes, and so on, in the form of bog standard MEME type lists. Please note that I don't intend anyone to "copy this, paste it, and change your answers" or anything like that, nor will you experience seven years bad luck if you don't send this to 500 of your friends. On the flipside if you what to make a list of your own, go ahead. Do whatever you want, you have free will - use it.

True MEMEs spread on their own simply because they are good ideas, and don't need a clause built into them to force their propogation. It's kinda unfortunate that most MEMEs these days take that form and that is what has put off so many bloggers when every other day they're obliged to think of another 5 blogs to pass the MEME on to - often thinking to themselves with some frustration "but I only read 9 blogs and I've already passed a bunch of MEMEs onto each of them!".
Don't get me wrong, it can be nice to receive award MEMEs. I've greatly appreciated every one I've received so far, but being obliged to think of x blogs to pass them on to each time gets tiring. It also reduces the value of the award because you can't help thinking "Am I getting this only because that person had to think of another x blogs to pass another MEME award to?"

Umm...ok, back to the topic at hand Shiv. Sheesh. Never meant to have a rant there.

I'm in a rather blunt mood (can you tell? Well? Can you!? And what's that supposed to mean huh?) so I think it's a good time to do my "Things That Get on my Tit" list.
A Tit List. Yes, I like that.

In no particular order:
1. People I work with who call each other "colleage".
"Sorry to disturb you colleage", "Hi colleage", "Are you coming to lunch colleague?"
Fuck. Off.
I can't describe how anoying this is. The only thing I can think of that would make me grind me teeth even more would be if they started talking baby language at each other.

2. Patronising cutsey packaging for Organic foods (especially smoothies)
"Made with the most delicious, happiest fruits squished together into a harmony of luxurious flavours that treat you well"
Oh god I think I'm gonna be sick. Oh...no, too late.
Funny, it looks just like that smoothie.

What is it with organic foods and moronic marketing? Is it some secret I don't know that you have to have the mental age of a pre-schooler to want to buy organic foods? (Ok, maybe you do at the prices they charge!).
I want to found my own chain of organic foods, the label just says:

"It's good for you. Nuff said"

That's it. Nothing else. At all.

3. Waiter / waitress selective blindness
What the fuck!? You can see someone on the opposite side of the restaurant who has just taken their credit card out but you seem to be completely unable to see me trying to ask for another drink RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU waving my arms so close I'm practically picking your nose for you (not that it needs it, I saw what you were doing in the kitchen).
When I become Prime Minister I'm going to motion a new legislation making it legal for customers to tazer waiting staff that ignore them.

4. Rude drivers.
Oh gawd, there's so much in this one I don't know where to start! It can be boiled down to two simple rules: 1 - You should fucking KNOW the highway code! 2 - Don't be a cunt.
-If someone is coming out of the slip road onto the motorway: either slow down, or move out of the way. Don't speed up or match their speed because you're going to end up running them into the crash barrier.
-If someone slows down to let you in, flash your indicators to say thanks
-Don't cut across three lanes to a slip road seconds before you pass it. If you're in that situation it's your own fucking fault so don't put everyone elses life at risk because you're an impatient ass.
-If you're close enough to see me frowning at you in the rear view mirror GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF MY ASS!
-When there's a traffic jam don't race up the slip-road then try to cut back into the main traffic further down. You can be damn sure if I'm there I wont let you in, then you'll either be forced down the off-ramp or into the crash barrier. It's your fault for thinking that for some reason you deserve to be further ahead in the line than everyone who's been sat in the queue for ages. On a side note I hope you try this at the cinema one day and get punched in the nose by a short tempered movie nerd.
-If you sit in the street blaring your horn for your friend to come out of the house...I will find out where you live and replace your horn with a recorded announcement that say's proudly "I am an incurteous cock"
-If your car alarm goes of repeatedly and for lengths of time, I will retaliate by ringing on your doorbell randomly at all hours of the day and night and keep ringing for five minutes each time.

On a related note, if you drive a BMW then statistically speaking you're a cock. This is based on my own observations while driving, of all the people I have got annoyed with on the road about 70-80% have been driving BMWs.

4. Rude people
Well who *does* like rude people? But by this I mean specifically the people that can't even make the effort to return trivial curteousies. If you're at a checkout and the cashier says "hello, how are you?" then reply to them dammit and do them the decency of asking after their health also. If someone smiles at you on the street or says hello as you pass, return the greeting. Stop being so damned miserable to everyone!
Ok, I live in London so asking people to actually be friendly to each other might be like asking to decide on a boob size once and for all.

Hmm, this has turned out to be quite long already. I think I'll continue later, for now I'm going to say goodbye to my "colleagues", buy a patronising smoothie, walz out of the office deliberately ignoring my boss, drive home like a manic, then stamp on my partner's foot when I get home.

Update

I'm long overdue an update, so here goes...
First a quick catch-up. As you may know from Meryine's Blog, life has been a bit unstable recently. I moved in with a friend of mine in the center of London on the 15th Sep, however the flat is undergoing major renovations (walls knocked through, completely redone wiring, phone lines, even some new plumbing) so I've not actually been able to stay there yet. I've spent the last month couch surfing with my very accomodating friends. It's been good to spend some time with people and catch up, but it's been horrible being away from Meryine. I think this is the longest time we've been away from each other since we got together.

I'm back in london with her for a couple of days tho, which has already been wonderful. I slept better last night than I have in ages, and feel a hell of a lot happier and better for it! I have to say she really makes me feel comfortable and relaxed, something I seriously struggle to do on my own!

I've pretty much completely stopped reading books or writing my own stories for the moment. Another phase that's come and gone I suppose, although I'm sure it'll return. I'm just glad I got through so many books while I was still in the mood! And at least when the mood takes me again I still have some new books to read. For now my new obsession is...yes, I've finally sold my soul...World of Warcraft. I have to say, of the MMORPGs that I've played I can easily see why this one rules as king.

In more upsetting news, my hamster died last night :( He has been ill for some time now with a large tumor, however never seemed to be in any pain. At three years old he has had a good innings and he's had a life that most of us can only wish for (sleep all the time and only wake up for food). Of all the hamsters I've had Carlos was the most...well, lazy :P He's the only hamster I've known that, if you left the cage door open, would look up at the door briefly, then go back to bed. He's also the least destructive hamster I've ever known, he didn't chew on anything left on or next to the cage.
I've had Carlos since he was a frightened little baby, and although I didn't get him out and play with him often I will really miss him. He was like a small furry version of myself.

That's all I have to say for now, take care my friends.

There is no cure

There's something twisting inside; it's tears and screaming, laughter and emptiness all at once. I don't know where it has come from, nor what it wants of me. I am being torn apart, my limbs bound by traitorous emotions that pull in different directions. I do my best to hold myself together because it's all I can do. Being dragged along is easy when you submit to it, but my soul is trying to shrivel up and explode simultaneously. The only rest here is oblivion, and I'm not ready for that yet.

Lick my heart,
taste my fears,
See my smile
Through burning tears
This is not
My first refrain
I will be here again.

This will pass, like all that came before.

Panic in the Disco II

I don't handle pressure and stress well. Ok, that's like saying it's probably not a great idea to pour liquid nitrogen on your nuts.

At the moment things are pretty stressful. Aside from the general pressures of moving house - compounded by the fact that my partner and I are moving to different locations and only have a fiat panda to actually transport stuff in - I seem to attract "problems". The more panicky I get, the more problems appear.

The first problem to hit this morning was the money transfer from my account of a Standing Order that I had cancelled. Ok, I cancelled it too late - but no one told me it takes 3 working days to cancel a standing order nor was there anything on the online banking page to indicate that the "cancelled" that appeared next to the standing order actually meant "this will be cancelled - after we've taken another £800 out of your account". Personally I think little details like that should be in 30 point flashing red text; just to make sure no one can miss it!

I battled with the bank, but of course they don't really care (although they did write down my suggestion of flashing red text and send it to their feedback team). So now I have to get my old letting agent to give me my money back, which they are charging me for.

This wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just ordered myself a new laptop (pretty much an essential since I wont be able to use my partner's anymore and my work laptop wont let me onto most sites). Now I'm in the unenviable position of not being able to pay my rent for the new flat. I've just about got it sorted as good as it can be now thankfully.

As if sensing that this is a bad day to mess with me my ISP decided to cut off my broadband a week earlier than planned. After an hour long call all I'd got was a lot of unfelt "sorry" sentences and the information that if I want broadband this week - tough.

So right now I'm sat in the office wound tighter than a frog's asshole. I should be in a great mood, I'm going to see Metallica tonight - completely free! However all I can think about is the stress of getting into the centre of London on time, and what I'm going to do for the two weeks that my new flat isn't going to have electricity or running water due to building work.

Sometimes I look around at other people and wonder if anyone else takes things as hard as I do. The guy say opposite me in the office, does he feel like breaking down in tears inside but somehow manages to hide it? What about the woman sat next to me on the train; does she feel crushed inside but keeps up a strong front?

Or is it just me? Am I the only one here who falls apart as soon as things start going wrong?

When things get like this I feel like I'm an emotional baloon ready to burst, like I'm drunk on the stresses and standing on the edge of a cliff; it would only take the slightest push...

Has the world ended yet?

http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/

On a related note, the special commissioned Torchwood radio episode about the LHC...really sucks!