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    2008-12-12

    Obama Team Tells NASA 'No We Can't'

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    BREAKING TRANSITION TEAM NEWS:

    A member of Obama's goon squad threw down, Chicago-style, in a shouting match with NASA adminstrator Mike Griffin earlier this week while discussing the agency's future. The heated power play officially ushered in a new dark age in NASA politics as a ominous sign of things to come as the facade of campaign niceties fades away.

    Needless to say, Obama's transition team's obvious intentions of restructuring of governmental agencies and their funding to favor his pet projects is slowly coming into focus.
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    2008-12-10

    Fran Drescher Impersonates Senate Candidate: FacePunch Wednesday

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    Fran Drescher has decided that her next career move will be to impersonate an United States Senator. What the eff are you thinking, woman? You have no qualifications to be a senator. You didn't even finish college (and I quote, "She attended a year at Queens College and then attended cosmetology school to become a hairdresser.") What exactly can you bring to policy discussions? "Mr. Senator, I do believe you need a new haircut." The ability of an United States senator to understand, draft, and evaluate legal documents and enact new laws is paramount to the success of our governmental process.

    Just goes to show you that celebreality continues to run the People's Republic of New York. So, Fran, I hereby sentence you to 50 self-inflicted punches. Heck, why stop there? Please beat yourself into a senseless, bloody, unusable pulp. Do it. Just dooo it.
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    2008-12-07

    Politics with a Side of Funny: Tweeple to Follow

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    If you are still laboring under the impression that conservative politicos are boring, stale, and straight-jacket serious, it's time you tap into the Twittervein and refresh your mindset- because it's dead wrong. To facilitate this process, I'd like to present the Silver Flabber Award to the following witty conservatives on Twitter:

    @pinkelephantpun
    @Linc4Justice
    @Morticia626
    @jimmiebjr
    @RightGirl
    @Michelle_Moore
    @mortimas
    @RightMichigan
    @Leaningright
    @blogsofwar


    If you are not following them already, you. are. wrong. Period.

    Oh, and to all my lovely tweeps: I love each and every one of you, so don't feel bad if you're not on the Best Flabber list. If you are a funny political tweeter/blogger, I'll come to my senses one day and notice your brilliance. If you'd like to speed up the process, send me a DM or @AJae reply.
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    2008-12-05

    Don't Underestimate Young Republicans/ Conservatives, #TCOT

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    ['cause I won't fit in the box]
    Twitterland is all abuzz right now with one of the most infectious movements in the rightosphere:
    Top Conservatives on Twitter.com,
    a.k.a the infamous
    #TCOT.


    #TCOT's grassroots gorilla wordfare* is on the verge of a total hostile takeover of the liberal-ruled social media outlet, with astronomical growth just days after its inaugural listing...and I'm so proud to say that @AJae is on the list.

    With that being said, there is something that has been tweeting around (ever since Hot Air published a piece on #TCOT) that really rubs me the wrong way. I am 100% certain that this is not #TCOT's official opinion, but I've run into a shocking number of conservatives that hold the view that you have to be a certain age to have valid contributions to political dialogue and/or be a 'real' conservative. (This issue, of course, certainly isn't just confined to Twitter.) It's this tiny little box that they can automatically stuff any new young voices that pop up in the party into and continue on their merry way.

    We, as conservatives, need to check this attitude at the door.
    It's annoying, it's patronizing, and it's one of the reasons young conservatives lose interest in the party early on. Personally, I found it insulting: just because I'm only 21 doesn't mean that I'm somehow missing the logic and reasoning processing centers in my brain. I'm used to being insulted by lefties claiming that I'm full of the 'foolishness of youth,' but this sentiment from my supposed allies has left me bewildered. As Steven Lee of the New Republican has proven, younger conservatives are a essential key to reforming our party while staying true to core conservative values.

    So, please, for the sake of preserving our great nation and reinventing the Republican party (and the conservative movement), don't forget the youth in your grassroots reform campaigns. Encourage and foster a new generation of intelligence, well-rounded politicans, writers, and opinion-makers.



    *War of words. Yes, I like to make up my own language. Shaddup.
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    2008-12-03

    Wordless: Paris Hilton Dishes on Brittney Flickinger

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    2008-12-01

    Bree [Van De Camp] Hodge is One Badass Bitch.

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    She deals with terrorism the easy way.
    A conservative, gun-toting, fiery redhead with lava pit of passion concealed under a serene mask, she sticks to her opinions and is loyal to a fault. She is a powerful woman-a housewife and a mother, yet is so much more than just a composite of either of these titles. You know her as Bree Hodge, Desperate Housewife. I know her as my hero and a example of exactly the kind of woman we need to protect and cherish in the conservative side of the political spectrum. Speculated to be the least favorite of the Desperate Housewives, I am shocked that her character has been allowed to express her "radical " agenda at all. Yes, she is stereotypical (an uptight, cold bitch with OCD and maniacal tendencies, because, hey, how could a woman with four guns and a nice looking house be normal?), and the show does villanize her character on several occasions, but ultimately, she still overcomes the script's hurdles to be a semi-loveable being. Which reminds me of another conservative, powerful woman who isn't afraid of children, housework, or guns:



    Millions of Americans have no problem accepting a fictional Bree Hodge, but when she comes to life and steps out of the silver screen and onto the national stage, people will stop at nothing to destroy her. I find it sad that people will stand in mass rallies and chant empty promises of change and hope, yet refuse to broaden their narrow opinions to include a woman in the White House. Good job, America! We have another four years of the Clinton administration thanks to your 'change.' I'm not suggesting that Palin is perfect, or even ready to be the next President, but the fact that she wasn't even given a fair chance tells me that we haven't come very far since 1920. Both sides of the political fence have failed us once again.

    The moral of the story?

    Real change is impossible until you open your mind to new possibilities.
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    2008-11-14

    Lindsay Lohan Dishes on Her Sexuality and Her Newest Toy

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    exclusive photo of Lindsay Lohan flying her new toy autogyroIn an exclusive interview, Lindsay Lohan* gives Blab 'n Flab the official dirt on her sexuality, what new toy is making her hot, and how she's exploiting the current political and cultural moods to stay famous by sitting on her ass and do nothing but hang out with a gal pal in skimpy clothing. AJae, the mistress of secrets here at Blab 'n Flab, caught up with Lohan at an undisclosed Starb*cks somewhere near her home.

    AJAE: So, Lindsay, there's been a lot of rumors flying around about you and Sam (Samantha Rosen). Are you actually out of the closet now? And what's this we're hearing about a possible side boyfriend in the near future?

    ------------------------------
    LOHAN (Sips on her non-fat Vanilla Latte a moment): Well AJae, the fact of the matter is that I feel that riding the bi-sexual/lezzie/100% boring straight girl line for as long as possible will help people forget that I haven't successfully held down a job in...um, well, forever. I am not bi-sexual. And I love the man juice too much to commit to Sam and give her the respect she (and the rest of the GBLT community) deserves. I prefer to think of myself as an attention ho with no viable sexual orientation. I am in talks with an un-named male F-list celeb's agent to discuss an tabloid photo-op only 'relationship' arrangement to ensure that men will still think I'm attractive. So, yeah, things are really good with me and her right now. We're in a good place. A love cocoon.

    AJAE: Wow. You're definitely in a better place now. So what else is new?

    LOHAN: Like, oh my gawd, I totally just snatched up this fierce new toy- you might know it from the James Bond film, "You Only Live Twice"-but it really just makes my panties wet. I'm totally all up in James Bond's business now with my new autogyro [Editor's note: What did you think it was?! You're nasty. =]. And I'm drooling over the new Bond film that's out-it's definitely a date-night flick for me-makes me feel like a wicked bad girl. (Twitches a little)

    AJAE: I am feeling the autogyro. So, then, you've kicked your partying and drugs for good, and you're really okay?

    LOHAN: Definitely. My agent made sure that me and SamRo have been heavily photographed doing healthy activities like smoking and playing innocuous games like Scrabble. I am whatever the tabs publish, ya know? I'm taking a page from Britney's book, minus the whole bald head thing. That's just ugly.

    AJAE: Indeed. Quite ugly. How do you feel about current California events? The wildfires? The Siport shooting in Santa Clara? And the Paula Abdul fan-cide deal?

    LOHAN: Well, AJae, I don't know anything about the Siport shooting thingy- Santa Clara is outside of my brain-bubble area. And I'm staying inside a lot and getting extra facials and body wraps to ensure that my skin isn't affected by the extra environmental pollutants the fires are spewing into the air and stuff. That's just sad about Paula, with her finally getting edged out of the spotlight by that new bitch-what's her name? Kara DioGuardi. Yeah.

    AJAE: Ummm...yeah. Okay. Well I'm running out of time here so I've got to wrap this up-any final words?

    LOHAN (Frowns...nibbles on her ciggy butt):Miley Cyrus is a ho.

    AJAE:
    That about sums it up...Thank you for talking to Blab 'n Flab today, and don't forget to hit me up whenever you decide you are asexual or whatever.

    ---------------------------

    In other news, Blab 'n Flab is working on an exclusive first interview with Bristol Palin's baby, so don't bother reading People for the exclusive pics, 'cause we've got this sh*t on lock. Or whatever.
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    Disclosure Policy

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    This policy is valid from 15 November 2008

    Note: Blab 'n Flab Freak News Daily is not meant to be read by those who suffer from Geliophobia, Cherophobia, Euphobia, Neophobia, Caligynephobia, Cyberphobia, Enissophobia, Heresyphobia or Hereiophobia, Oneirogmophobia, Panophobia, Eleutherophobia, Homophobia, Atelophobia, Philophobia, Allodoxaphobia, Doxophobia, or Primeisodophobia.

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    Blab 'n Flab Freak News Daily has no tolerance for plagarism or theft of our content, and will pursue legal action when offenders are identified. Do not mess with the dragon and you will not be burnt. Seriously.

    To get your own policy, go to http://www.disclosurepolicy.org
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    2008-11-01

    Halloween.

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    Anybody else more scared of the election results than supernatural beings hanging out in your house on Halloween?

    'Nuff said.
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    2008-10-03

    Sexism, Sarah Palin, and The Queen of Spain: Why I Love Twitter

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    This election has highlighted issues that many of us have been sweeping under the carpet for years, as race, gender, disabilities have become fair parley. The subtle discrimination that lurks deep within each of our minds is being exploited in this race like no other political campaign in history. Although I personally don't believe that the Democratic ticket should be viewed any differently from any other male dominated ticket (in that Obama shouldn't be viewed any differently than a male of a different ethnicity because I don't believe that your skin color affects your thinking, ability to lead, or is anyway superior/inferior to any other Asian, Hawaiian, Neatherdal, Scottish, Spanish, Hispanic, Caucasian male), but there is no doubt that is not an opinion shared by America. So this election is ground-breaking anyway you look at it. Sarah Palin, in particular, has been at the center of a thousand whirling dervishes of controversy. She's a girl. Running for the vice presidency. This post was supposed to be done last week, and so many more must-read excellent articles and sources have popped up since my Twitter conversation (like this very logical article from Tammy Bruce), but sexism in American politics isn't going away folks. Although I admit this post is belated [Shuddaup. I got a mean virus that rendered me incapable of functioning for like forever. And my lovely MTF* emergency room is staffed with incompetent idiots who shouldn't have been allowed to graduate from whatever backwoods college they supposedly became nurses at. They couldn't even give me an I.V. in my perfectly-popping-easier-to-find-than-your-granny's-cookies veins. I seriously wanted to give myself the damn I.V.-I would have done a better job. (Segue into a Proud Moment: Back in my toy soldier days, I had to take this CLS** class that involved shoving tubes down people's noses and giving each other I.V.s and fun stuff like that, and I kid you not, I did a better job than the freaking medic teaching the class. Yes, I'm vein. And very, very punny.) Anyway, I have two huge bruises in my left arm. Ugh.], it is still very relevant.

    Without further ado:

    --------------------------------------

    It began with a boring night of reading Roe v. Wade and watching a crappy Lifetime movie while twittering random thoughts and evolved into an exciting political debate with a great twitterati and blogger, the Queen of Spain. What follows is an abridged conversation of the debate about sexism in this election and Sarah Palin:


    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    AJae: Watching Coco Chanel and reading Roe v.Wade: the untold story of the landmark supreme court decision that made abortion legal-What a combo! Anybody else already tired of this election? I'm getting tired of sorting through the internet rumors and misinformation.

    QueenofSpain
    in reply to nmckinney28: [U]m...well it wouldn't make sense...and I think it's clear there have been [D]emocrats calling out the sexism against Palin

    AJae: Obama's campaign may or may not be defending Palin against sexist remarks, but the Dems as a whole certainly are not.

    The Queen of Spain: The [Democrats] as a whole? Really? Seriously? You mean the party that stands up for women's rights? The ones that vote FOR affordable child care and equal pay and family leave? The ones that have already condemned the remarks by the SC chair? You mean THOSE democrats? Give me a break. Excellent attempt to play victim, but the '[Democrats] hate women' card is equally as absurb as the GOP candidate for VP.

    AJae: I was referring strictly to the response to Palin's candidacy in that the Democratic party seems to be rapidly falling into a pit of sexist 'PTA moms should stay at home with their children and leave politics alone' remarks and gaffes. I'm not sure where the Democratic party of yester-year that used to champion women's rights went... but this campaign seems to be erasing history. I do love the victim card so...but that was not exactly the point I was making. I was just discussing the current state of affairs derived from reputable news sources, not opinion or other biased articles. And I [certainly] did not infer that "the [Democrats] hate women" but rather that they aren't necessarily pointing out sexism against Palin.

    The Queen of Spain:
    [C]ould you point to these news sources you speak of? And when [I'm] back to my computer I will send various [examples of Democrats] and [Democratic organizations] decrying sexism.
    ...all of the media is now being viewed as partisan in one way or another. And that is an unfortunate development.'

    So does the strategist, who had his own complaints about sexism in media coverage about Sen. Clinton, think the media is being harder on Palin than other candidates?

    'I think that the media is doing the kinds of stories on Palin that they're not doing on the other candidates. And that's going to subject them to people concluding that they're giving her a tougher time.'" http://tinyurl.com/4h9gtm I apologize for two articles in a row from the LA Times... An interesting article from CBS that discusses both sides of the sexism and Palin issue: http://tinyurl.com/6jqgxu

    The Queen of Spain: That was a Dem (Mark Penn) defending her against the media? I don't understand. At all. A conservative columnist thinks she didn't need to know which version of the bush doctrine?*** These articles point out nothing to me.Here's a Dem PAC with a better wrap up for youhttp://tinyurl.com/6mve9fthey defend. Your point was that the Dems were not denouncing the sexism. Everything you've sent me proves otherwise. I am confused.

    AJae: [Mark Penn wasn't exactly defending Palin-he was basically just admitting that the problem existed] I can definitely see where you are coming from, but I still think this election is turning into a mudslide of sexism and avoidance of issues. Your over generalization of Dems protecting Palin from sexism is misleading and uninformed. Honestly, I don't have the time or ability to go back and quote the appropriate sources, but there is no doubt that sexism in the Democratic party had a significant influence in the failure of Hilary Clinton candidacy. The sexism and Palin issue is admittedly [often] too much ado about nothing, but to say that Dem[ocrats] are coming together and defending Palin against such slander is a gross misrepresentation of fact.

    The Queen of Spain: We're not protecting her, but we're calling it out too. Which is more than I can say for them when Hillary or Michelle O were attacked. She needs no protecting by Democrats, that's for sure.

    AJae: Let's not forget that Bill Clinton has been documented calling his wife a cunt and similar language on many occasions. Is he a misogynistic politician?

    The Queen of Spain:

    AJae: Yes, Bill Clinton has been documented doing so, but that received little attention. I honestly don't know how Hillary can stand being married to him.

    As things heated up, summerm joined the discussion:

    summerm:I know 1 site to do a sexism watch on Palin, here's the most recent http://tinyurl.com/66be6m

    AJae: Rape Kits and Palin: http://tinyurl.com/5zv98q Apparently, the rape kit decision was the police chief's, not Palin's. Mayor does not equal Supreme Ruler of Wasilla. Darn.

    The Queen of Spain: I can help debunk your assertion (New Evidence: Palin Had Direct Role In Charging Rape Victims For Exams" http://tinyurl.com/4vu7z7 )

    summerm: "Comella would not answer other questions, including when Palin learned of Wasilla’s policy or whether she tried to change it"

    AJae: According to the bylaws of the City of Wasilla, there is no direct way that Palin could've changed the rape policy. See the PDF on http://tinyurl.com/4vu7z7 The mayor is not allowed to interfere with the actual law-making process. "[C]lear evidence suggesting Palin knew Wasilla was charging the victims of sexual assault has been hard to find" from http://tinyurl.com/4vu7z (although Huffington Post is admittedly not a reliable, fact-checked news source). And I have been reading through the source documents the article cites and have been hard pressed to find the evidence they claim is there. But, yes, it is her fault for picking a crappy police chief. Aren't you glad she's made major mistakes she's learned from?

    summerm: If in a town that small she couldn't keep track of the the police chief she hired was doing, how does that make her qualified to b[e mayor/VP]?
    I don't think her abortion stance is necessarily phrased in such harsh terms, but I'm actually researching the Roe v. Wade issue as we speak. As a child from a teenage mother who got pregnant via rape, I'm undoubtedly biased.

    summerm:
    But what a rousing and informative night it's been...I have a lot to think about and some issues to reconsider.



    America, get ready to face a new reckoning at the hands of Twitter!

    ---------------------
    *MTF: Military Treatment Facility
    **CLS: Combat Lifesaver Course
    *** Note: It has widely been acknowledged that there is no specific or official "Bush Doctrine" in existence, and that the fault for this incident should rest squarely on the shoulders of Charles Gibson and ABC.

    A few of our sources:

    http://womencount.org/blog/blog_detail/2008-09-sexism-and-sarah-palin

    Financial reports: http://www.cityofwasilla.com/index.aspx?page=136

    Questionable, but still:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jacob-alperinsheriff/sarah-palin-instituted-ra_b_125833.html

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