2009 - New Year - Fresh Start

The concept of New Year's resolutions is that with the beginning of a new year, we have the opportunity to start anew - have a fresh start on our life.

Usually I don't make New Year's resolutions because I find that either I totally forget them within a few days or I find them irrelevant as I move through the year.

This year, however, I am making some. The reason is that I feel it is time to do those things I know I need for health and sanity. I believe we are now in a time when we need to be congruent with what we know to be true. For me this means I can no longer think one way and do another. I need to be unified within, stop self-sabotage and follow the truth I have discovered in my life. I am starting my 4th katun of life (after 60), and with Saturn passing through my first house, I have been acknowledging that I have become an elder, even though I did not have children of my own. I have had "an interesting life" and have done many things. I have learned a lot.

We must all be prepared to give our gifts to life, so that means taking care of ourselves so that we are emotionally fit. Caroline Casey says it's time to open our 'magic backpacks' and see what tools we have acquired that may be useful during these challenging times.

My resolutions are:

1. I will visit the ocean at least once a month. I only live 17 miles from the ocean, so it is easy to do it. The sea air and the rhythm of the waves are both purifying and rejuvenating.

2. I will meditate every day. I need to connect to the Source on a regular basis in a focused way.

3. I will sing with other people at least once a month. Creating sound with other people opens and connects the heart and throat chakras. Then, the energy created and released goes to the hands where it can be made manifest.

4. I will dance with other people at least once a month. This is vital to keep the body flexible and the lower chakras clear.

5. I will prepare my downstairs to receive clients. I am ready to claim my skills of intuition, divination and inspiration. I am an herbalist, energy healer and astrologer. To see some of this work go to my website, my herbal blog, and my astrology blog.

6. I will take my vitamins and supplements. I need to keep my physical body healthy.

7. I will walk at least twice a week. Exercise is good for body and mind. The rhythm of walking keeps me in synchrony with Nature.

I have been involved in a spiritual path for most of my life. Sometimes I have been involved in groups, sometimes not. Currently I am on the outer edge of several circles. Rather than going to this or that activity, I am striving to 'be' the teachings. This is the goal I believe.

There was a time and place to sit at the feet of teachers, but I feel with the passage of Pluto through Sagittarius, that time is over. We need to take responsibility for ourselves, stop being victims, find our inner authority (Pluto in Capricorn).

A Tribute to Thistle Farms

Not sure where this post belongs - here or on Hamida the Herbalist. It actually bridges both blogs. While reading Victoria magazine January/February issue, I came upon a story about a business and project that is fantastic.

It's called Thistle Farms and it's a non-profit that assists women survivors of violence of all sorts, who learn to produce natural beauty products. This is similar to an idea I had many years ago while working at a women's shelter as a client advocate.

While the services we provided assisted women and children to get away from domestic violence, we were not able to help them much after they left. Many of them depended on the income from the violent partner. The "luckier" ones were on welfare before they came into the shelter. All they had to do was change their address. The ones with no means of support often felt forced to go back to the bad situation because someone was paying the bills. I always thought that we needed to provide or create programs where women could both acquire skills and earn a living while still being in a semi-protected situation.

Thistle Farms in conjunction with other organizations appears to have made my dream a reality. At least for women in Tennessee.

I would love to help create something like that here where I live. It should include a farm where the residents could grow the herbs used in the products and as much of their own food as possible. There would be so many benefits.

When I worked at the shelter, I found that many of the women did not know much about nutrition or cooking from scratch. They ate a lot of fast food or prepared food - both bad for them and their children in so many ways. But they just didn't know any different. These foods are not only useless nutritionally, but also expensive. I managed to bring in Nutritionists from the Agricultural Extension Office to teach food preparation and healthier eating habits. We also got free organic vegetables from a local farm. Half the time the women didn't have a clue about what things were or what to do with them. I don't blame them. Our modern lifestyle encourages media consumption at the expense of living full lives.

Jodhaa Akbar for Christmas

Yes, I have put up another ad for the Christmas season. I have no problem promoting Amazon, because I totally support reading. I love movies too and you can buy them there as well. In fact, I just watched an incredible movie, one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen. I will buy a copy for sure.

It's from India and is in an Indian language with English or Arabic subtitles. It is 3 hours and 45 minutes yet I was sorry to see it end. Jodhaa Akbar is based on the lives of real people and takes place during an opulent period in Indian history.

The music, costumes, and sets are so incredible. It made me want to be young and in love for the first time. Of course, in their case, it helps that they were the richest people in the land as well.

Basically the Emperor Akbar, a Muslim, marries Jodhaa, a Hindu princess during a time when there was much war and strife around issues of land and religion. Yet, Akbar allows her to keep her own religion and culture while living in a Muslim palace. In fact, in time he rules that there will be total religious tolerance in his empire.

Perhaps India needs to go back to its own history (and so do we Americans) to remember these founding principles of tolerance and acceptance. They both respect each other and therefore expand themselves and learn new ways of being, without sacrificing their own traditions. Others try to force them to reject or limit, but they don't go along with that. Instead their love grows as they come to understand each other more. Inspiring.

Grateful for my childhood

Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. Mine turned out much better than I expected. I knew the family I was visiting had a little girl, but I did not know about the boy. They were the most delightful, intelligent and well-mannered kids I have met in years. Victoria and Morgun (supposed to be Morgan, but dad was so worn out after the whole birth thing, he couldn't write straight when he filled out the paperwork). I guess the hospital staff didn't question it. Duh! I guess they are so used to misspelling or 'creative' spellings of names, they don't even notice anymore.

And they had two dachshunds that were the sweetest little things. I got my face washed more times than I care to count. Yes, I know their mouths are "clean", but that's hard to remember when you see where else they've been. Midway in the day they were lolling across my body on their backs gazing up at me in such an adorable way.

Earlier, as I was getting ready to go in the morning, I noticed a commotion out on the highway. Many cars and people. I thought perhaps the neighbor up the road was having a big dinner and people were parking along the highway. But no, it was another car off the road and in the ditch. They were trying to help before the CHP came. Funny, I hadn't heard this one go off. Usually there's a squealing of tires then some type of crash. I write a about this on Hamida the Herbalist, Issue of the Week for last week.

I guess no one was hurt as they did not call the police. It made me even more careful driving that day.

We had the usual Thanksgiving dishes, including pumpkin pie made from scratch.
Throughout the day I thought about Thanksgivings past. This has always been my favorite holiday, but not necessarily because of what happened. I just liked it, that's all.

Since my parents divorced when I was around 7 or so, and they both felt I should get the benefit of both of them, they decided that each year they would schedule the holidays in advance. One year Dad got me for Thanksgiving, Mom for Christmas - etc. The next year they would switch.

I always preferred Dad for Thanksgiving, since he married another "American" and they would have "real Thanksgiving". That is, turkey, dressing, yams, pumpkin pie. My mother's people would have "Italian Thanksgiving" which meant tons of food, but no turkey or dressing. Yams? No way. It was more like roast beef with lots of garlic and a mountain of spaghetti.

For Christmas, Mom was best since her family was so huge and I had so many cousins, it meant I got a ton of presents. If I was not going to be there, it seemed I got fewer presents. Also, we would spend ALL DAY eating! I mean it. We'd get to grandma's around noon (after Church) and stay at the table until 10pm or so. We usually had two meals plus desserts, nuts, fruit etc.

Between meals, the men would go out to smoke and play horseshoes, or stay in and play cards, while the women cleaned up the first set of dishes and argued. Us kids would go outside and try to get grandpa's bull the chase us out in the field, then hope to run back through the huge gate in time. What fun! Or we might try to play "baseball" out in the yard near the barn. You had to be careful not to end up in the cesspool, that was inconveniently situated in the yard. We mostly used the outhouse attached to the barn for a toilet, so the cesspool was not as bad as it might have been. We thought nothing of this. It had a structure consisting of mountains of lumber over the top. The only reason I ever knew there was a cesspool there at all was when something went wrong one time and my uncles had to uncover it and fix something - a pump I guess.

Even though I was an only child until my mother remarried and had another daughter, I was part of a huge extended Italian (Sicilian) family. We spent most of our lives visiting each other. There was always something. Holidays, birthdays, showers, weddings, baptisms, then later funerals. My grandparents never spoke English even though they were in this country for nearly 75 years. They had green cards.

I am so grateful I grew up like this. I feel so fortunate. It makes it very difficult to handle holidays now, however. It doesn't feel right unless there are at least 20 people at the table.

At Dad's American Thanksgiving, I had all the great traditional food. When my first step-mother was around, we usually went to her sister's house. They "had money" so they really did it up right. Even the booze they drank was expensive. They had a huge house and their kids, my step-cousins had every great toy you could want.

I'll never forget the year step-mother no.1 made dinner at their house in Fremont. I was already on my own by then and my best friend from high school, who was now my college housemate was with me. Her parents had gone to Texas for the holiday and she did not want to go, so she came with me. Oh God! Dinner was to be around 2, so we went over there around noon. Step-mother no.1 as still in her bathrobe, drunk and stuffing the turkey. We realized it would be hours before dinner was ready, so we drove over to my aunt Annie's in Livermore where my mother was for the day. We ate there and hung out for awhile. Then we went back to Dad's where things were moving along. We had a few drinks to ease the pain. Finally, we ate. Ugh! Misery. Raw turkey. Finally we got out of there. Before we went home, we stopped at my aunt Frances' in Hayward and, of course, ate there. We had eaten 3 Thanksgiving dinners that day!

Whenever I begin to feel sorry for myself - living alone, no children, I think back on that day. All of it. The bounty of food, the family, the dysfunction, the driving around trying to appease all my relatives, the embarrassment of having my friend see that part of my life, etc. and I am grateful that at least I did not duplicate the dysfunction. My father married again. That time to another alcoholic and the last Thanksgiving I had with him, he had to cook it all himself because she was so bad off. My Dad never cooked, but he wanted "a real Thanksgiving" so much he went way out of his comfort zone to try to make it work. Bless his heart.

I know my parents did the best they could. They were the generations that came after the immigrant generation. Children of immigrants who were between cultures. Trying to fit in - "be American". Since my father's parents came here single to work and planned to return 'home', they learned English. WWI broke out and they had to stay here. They met and married. They were from two different countries - Ukraine and Poland.

My mother's parents came from the same village in Sicily. They were married with two children when they came to the U.S. There were lots of Italians in S.F. already, so they could work without having to learn English. They were not forced to assimilate, so they didn't. They were able to retain much of their traditional culture all of their lives.

I knew all my grandparents and learned a lot from them. I am grateful for this as well. I miss them all.

Wishful thinking....

Sorry I was wrong about Obama's birth year. He was born in 1961, not 1964. But, the Voting Rights Act that Lyndon Johnson signed was in 1964 and it did cause another uprising especially in the South as thousands of people tried to register to vote.

Someone emailed me that Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed in 1964 and that is wrong. He was killed in 1968 the same year as Bobby Kennedy. I remember both events very well.

After Nixon was elected, I stopped voting for nearly 20 years. My friends and I all expected that Nixon would put us in concentration camps. Many of my friends were arrested for their anti-war activities - on other pretexts. "The Movement" went underground. Many just gave up. Others became more militant.

44 Years Ago... and now Obama the 44th President!

I have decided that I'm taking Sunday off. Getting out, going for a ride, visiting friends, going for a long walk, whatever. This blogging thing can become quite addictive and when you add two on line classes to it and an on line business.... I'm definitely becoming a dull girl. More like a 'duh' girl. Really. I've gotten so I can hardly speak sometimes.

So, this past Sunday, I went to a Wellness Expo in Sonoma, then out to dinner at East West Cafe in Santa Rosa, then to a movie.

The Wellness Expo was 'research and development' since Hamida the Herbalist must keep up with what's going on. I saw many old friends and made some new ones. Of course, Linda Ann was there with her incredible and magical jewels. She is also a Feng Shui practitioner and I know her jewelry is blessed. It emanates such loving and compassionate energy. Go see at her website.

There were way too many 'readers' of various types. Some were downright scary looking. SO SERIOUS! Some sat there looking like they were trying so hard to connect to another world, it almost made me laugh. And what's so bad about that is... that I believe in these things. Unfortunately there are too many people trying to make it 'look' so mysterious when actually it is perfectly normal and natural.

After dinner, I went to see The Secret Life of Bees, a great movie made from an even greater book. It has been my experience that movies rarely are as good as the book they came from, and, sorry to say, it was also true in this case. I was disappointed with the movie. But even though I anticipated this possibility, I wanted to see it on the big screen.

One thing that I realized while I watched the movie that I hadn't gotten when I read the book is that when Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights act in July of 1964, that was a month before Obama was born! Amazing! It also struck me that it was 44 years ago and Obama is the 44th president!

Part of the movie is about racism in South Carolina during that period and how the voting rights act caused uprisings in the South. Here we are 44 years later with an African-American president and a bunch of 'stuff' has been stirred up again. What I fail to understand is how the granting of civil rights to any group of people takes away from others? If one is free, aren't we all free?

Hope Restored

Today I am so proud of America. We finally did something right!

I remember as a child listening to the radio before going to school and hearing all what was going on in Little Rock, Arkansas. It hit me so hard I dreaded driving through there 23 years later. Then Birmingham, Alabama and Mississippi and all those terrible things that happened in the 50's.

My mother taught me to accept people and I couldn't understand what was going on. It set me on a path to work for civil rights, sometimes actively, sometimes behind the scenes by my example.

When I was 12, my best friends and I campaigned for Kennedy by holding signs at a rally downtown Hayward when Nixon came to give a speech. A man came up and offered us a dime to leave.

When Kennedy created the Peace Corps, I decided that some day I would go and I did. I was 27 and I was an ESL teacher. I went to Zaire and taught at the University in Lubumbashi. I have to admit, I learned more than I taught. It was a challenge to be in the minority, but it gave me a little insight into how it feels.

Even though I was expecting to return to the U.S., I remembered the story of my grandmother who only planned to come to America for a couple years to earn money to send back to her parents, then return home. WWI broke out and she was not able to return to her family in Poland and had to make a life here. So... I was preparing myself for the same thing. What if I couldn't go "home" and had to stay there and make a new home?

That was a long time ago, but through the years, whenever I was in a position to stand up for someone, challenge racism, or offer support, I have done so.

When I lived in Louisiana, I came up against racism on a regular basis. It shocked me. Here it was the 80's and this XXXX was still going on. I really couldn't believe it. Having lived there and seeing it for myself, the way people were treated after Katrina didn't surprise me. The only difference was that the rest of America saw it too, finally. Louisiana was the most backwards place I had ever lived. It was like they were in a time warp.

Let's face it folks, there hasn't been much to celebrate lately. But this election of Obama has made me so happy. I believe, if nothing else, it has inspired young people and that is the most important thing anyone can do.

Election day I found out that my polls were closed and I was supposed to vote by mail. I don't like voting by mail, so when the ballot came, I thought I had an option, so I tore it up. Fortunately, I was outside when my neighbor was walking her dogs and we discussed the ads that Google posted without my knowledge or consent.

KPFA was broadcasting about election issues and gave out a hotline number if we had problems. So I called and found out that I had to drive 15 miles to the County Center and the Registrar of Voters Office. I did it because it was too important to miss. Even though I felt sure my one vote would not make that much difference, I wanted to be a part of history.

I am so glad I lived long enough to see this.

Someone said something that night that was very significant:

Rosa Parks sat so that Martin could march.
Martin marched so that Obama could run.
Obama ran so that my children can fly.