It’s been a frustrating night.  A very frustrating night.  What am I talking about?  The blame game. If you’re a raider, or ever have been, you’ve probably experienced it.  It goes a little something like this:  raid wipes, raid leader asks what happened, everyone in vent is silent for a few seconds and then it starts, everyone turns on someone.  Sometimes the healers get the blame, even if it was the tanks fault, sometimes it’s the range DPS who get the blame, even if it was the healers fault, etc.  In my guild, the blame always lands squarely on the DPS.  Oh, but it’s not as simple as that, more specify it lands on the range DPS.  It starts after the silence, people complaining about the marked targets and range AoEing early.  No matter how long the range waits, we always take the blame for wipes… even when it isn’t our fault.

When do people start taking responsibility?  If you caused the wipe, why is it hard to say so?  Sometimes, it is the range AoE that causes the wipe, but a lot of times it’s not our fault at all.  It’s simply easier to blame the range.  AoE is visible, it’s apparent, at least range AoE is making it easy to shift the blame to us.  I’m tired of taking the blame for wipes that aren’t our fault.  It’s not even that simple, we have condescending people being really shitty to the range after wipes.  At least we have a really good main tank, she’s very careful about just pointing out what happened and never blaming anyone for the wipe, it’s the way it should be, some people could learn from her good example.  They won’t, but they definitely could.

Tonight, I left the raid.  Tomorrow, it may be the guild.  I’m so fed up with the way people treat one another.  They expect us to be mind readers.  They put up marks on big pulls, don’t tell us not to AoE them.  Those marks could be the kill order for the melee for all we know, we’ve been AoEing everything else with no problems.  We wait for the tanks to take agro, wait even until the first marked target is dead most times, and 10 seconds into the fight when we wipe, even after all that waiting, it’s still our fault.  No.  It’s not our fault.  Sometimes it’s not our fault.  It’s a shame we’re always taking the damn blame.

Tonight it looked like this:

“What happened?”
“We wiped again because the range is AoEing when there’re still marks up!”
“Yeah” says a rogue, “I don’t know what’s up with that?”

That was when I left. It’s not the first or even the second time in the last two days everyone’s turned on the range when we’ve wiped. Many of those wipes weren’t our fault.  The above took place after a wipe that occurred nearly 15 seconds into the pull, after the skull marked target was dead and the cross marked target was halfway down –they marked two of the six targets.  How is that not enough time?  Frankly, I have no idea who’s fault it was, but I’d like someone else to take the blame from time to time.  I suppose this is what’s to be expected with two healers leading the raid, one of which has never raided DPS, let alone DPS with an AoE.

So far, the gear has been worth putting up with it, but I don’t think it is anymore.  So far, the few friends I have in guild have been worth putting up with it, but I can still be friends with them either way.  Right now, I just don’t know.  I don’t think it’s worth always being the scapegoat because they don’t know who’s to blame so they blame the range DPS.  Everyone get’s pissed because every death is 2g or 5g or whatever.  I don’t think it’s worth it.  I’m good enough to go somewhere else and raid and not put up with taking the blame every other second.

I just don’t know.  All I do know is I’m tired and sad, because I helped form this guild.  I helped put this together, helped hold it together, and I want to be able to enjoy it.

A quick note (1/08/09):  I just wanted to take a second to thank everyone who has or will weigh in on this. This is a topic that is very important to me because I feel like it happens too much.  I also wanted to take a second to clear up a few things I may not have been clear about.  The first is the issue of asking what happened.  It was asked to provoke conversation, not because they didn’t know.  The second is about our RL.  He’s on break and we have a few others filling in.  They’re doing the best they can, for the most part, and if anything one of them is too nice.  I also have to say, I don’t think I could ever leave my guild, or at least not under anything less than dire circumstances.  I’m just extremely frustrated and a lot of people who should care simply don’t.  So thank you all again for listening.  Much love.

…(¨`·.·´¨)
…..`·.¸.·Maeleigh

In January, I’m getting a new computer.  Mine is 5 years old and dying a terrible, overly-used death.  I need something with a little more oomph!  So, I’m going to splurge and get a nice new machine.  I can’t wait.  However, with a new computer comes all sorts of issues.  I’m going to have to reinstall WoW, which I am not looking forward to.  Here’s the problem, right now, I run a whole host of addons and mods.  When I get my new machine, I’m not sure I’ll be doing the same.

Right now, I’m using:

Atlas, Atlas loot enhanced, Omen, Recount, AG_Unitframes, Titan Panel, Gatherer, Innerfire Helper, Quartz casting bars, SquidMod, Curse profiler, Prat 3.0, Lightheaded, TomTom, and Dr. Dmg.

Not too many, but still quite a few.  Truth be told, I’d really love to have one of those awesome custom UI’s I always see the pictures off all over the net.  As it is, other than AG_Unitframes and SquidMod, my UI is pretty standard.  I have Squeenix installed, but I couldn’t get used to the square minimap, so I removed it.  I’m just not savvy enough to figure out how to use eepanels and all those frames mods.  I’m UI fail, to be honest.

My concern is that of viruses.  I’m super paranoid about curse and their mods, but I currently use their uploader for my mods because WoW Ace Updater isn’t being updated anymore.  I’m not sure I want to clutter up my fresh install with all these things and risk getting a virus on a brand new system.  Call me paranoid, but I’ve been hacked, I’ve lost all my stuff, I’ve suffered in nothing while Blizzard got it worked out, the hacking fools even transferred Mae to another realm.  Yeah, I’m paranoid, but not without good reason.

So what do you think?  What mods do you run?  Any I don’t?  I’d love to hear what everyone else is using!  If/when you got a new computer, would you upload all this stuff?  I just don’t know what to do about it right now.  Help me out.

*UPDATE*

I’ve pretty much decided that mods aren’t the devil and I’m going to run them –even when I get my new system.  I have the authenticator, which is a great security feature, and I can’t live without mods.  So, taking into account a few of the suggestions I’ve gotten, I’ve messed with my UI, the result is thus…

I’m running everything I said above, plus Dominoes, MBB for my mini-map buttons, and Buttonfacade with the Sleek skin applied.  I’m quite happy with the result.  It’s taking some getting used to, but I’ve found Dominoes to be the best possible solution to my bars.  One of my bestest gal pals, Eristhan, spent much time and patience explaining to me how to set up Dominoes.  Thanks sweetie, <3, I couldn’t have done it without you!

Thanks to everyone who left me a comment on my previous UI and gave me some suggestions.  You’ve all be much help!!

…(¨`·.·´¨)
…..`·.¸.·Maeleigh

I have a confession to make.  It’s a minor confession, really, a little tiny admission.  Majesty is a Merrymaker… but that’s not the confession.  The confession is, when I was done earning the title “Merrymaker” I wasn’t feeling very darn merry!

When the holiday began, I took a long hard look at the list of holiday achievements for Winter Veil.  I could do that, I could get the title, I thought.  Then I remembered that Majesty had never done a single deed for those overly needy Ogres in Blade’s Edge, nor had she ever put to the task of baking for herself, and to top it all off, she was devoid of even a single honor kill!  I got it in my head right then that Majesty wasn’t ever going to be a Merrymaker.  Bah humbug!

I brought Father Winter treats,  threw snow at random people, saved Metzen, killed that mean ol’ Grench, pelted Magni Bronzebeard with a snowball, crashed my little robot, threw mistletoe at the brothers, shook my frosty groove thing in Dalaran, wore my winter clothes and ate fruitcake (yuck!), and opened my presents! I did it all, had a blast, but I wasn’t ever going to be a Merrymaker.  I made the best of the holiday but was a little bummed about the title.

It was on Christmas day, after doing the Crashin’ & Thrashin’ achievement, I decided I was going to get that Christmas title and be a Merrymaker if it took the rest of the holiday to complete!  Loveth and some friends helped me do the quests to open Ogri’la and I did the bombing as on my flying reindeer and ya know, I have to share this, I’ve always been terrible at the bombing but I managed to do it without getting knocked off my reindeer even once.  I was so proud of myself!!  Then came the cooking, which was expensive and terribly tedious.  The hardest part was stupid PvP quest.

I got some advice from my guildies and settled on Alterac Valley for the 50 kills disguised as a gnome quest.  It took me 10 attempts and 8k in honor to get it.  My guildies told me it would be best to just stay on defense and hide, but that just didn’t work for me, those mean ol’ horde were hunting me down and killing me stone dead.  So, I followed the crowd down the field of battle, stayed on offense, and managed to get my achievement done.

I got it done… Majesty is a Merrymaker, even though it wasn’t quick or easy.  Since getting it done though, the difficult feelings about it have melted away and having the title Merrymaker has made the rest of my holiday season more merry!  So what about y’all?  Merrymakers?

…(¨`·.·´¨)
…..`·.¸.·Maeleigh

I wanted to take a moment this morning to wish you all a very happy Winter Veil!!  So, from my family to yours, may the season bring you much joy and togetherness.  I love the holiday season, both in game and out and though it’s not always true, this year I’m feeling particularly festive!

May your days be merry and bright and may all your Winter Veil’s be white!

…(¨`·.·´¨)
…..`·.¸.·Maeleigh

I’m shadow… No, seriously.

I bring you the perspective of the only person in the entire World of Warcraft not excited at the thought of duel specs.  When I was a mage full time, I rolled my eyes every time Loveth brought up duel specs.  It wouldn’t really affect me.  Yes, I could build a frost spec and an elemental spec, or an elemental and an arcane, but in the end it was all the same.  Why a mage would need more than one spec is beyond me.  I could see the value for a hybrid, but for a class that lacked any sort of secondary purpose, I just couldn’t get excited about it.  Loveth, on the other hand, cheers every time it’s mentioned, being a holy priest it’s difficult for him to just go out and do his dailies or farm for anything.  He likes the idea that he can be holy for raids and shadow for farming/questing.  I see his excitement but again, this time as a full time shadow priest, I’m not 100% thrilled at the idea.

As it stands, I get more than 10 tells a day asking me to heal.  If I charged a gold every time someone whispered me, I’d make a mint.  I tell them I’m shadow and most of them leave me alone.  I get the random, “I miss the days when shadow priests didn’t pretend to be dps” (pretend, ha!) or “can you respec?” but for the most part people understand and don’t ask me to do something I clearly am not built to do.  Most people understand that while I’m a priest, when I say I’m shadow, I’m not likely to respec for people I don’t know when, in fact, I don’t even respec for people I do know.  Spellpower gear may be just that, spellpower and useful for all caster classes, but my gems, glyphs, and enchants scream DPS not heals.  Respeccing is simply not good enough, you have to redo all of it to be effective.

Here’s where my problem actually comes in.  Duel specs are going to mean hybrids, like me, are able to spec heals and dps.  I hear they’re going to have an entire interface for it, glyphs, hot bars, the works.  I don’t want it.  If I have a healing spec, I’m going to be expected to heal.  Yes, Loveth being my GL helps, it means I’ll never be asked to heal for raids.  He’s very lenient with me because he knows how much I hate healing.  He never asks me to do something I don’t want to do because he knows we pay for this game and feels like I should be able to play it without having an aneurysm from the stress of doing something I simply am not good at.  Sadly, my guildies as a whole aren’t that forgiving.

A few days ago, while running around doing my dailies, a pally in the guild asked me to respec to heal heroics.  I proptly said no and told him the only healing he was getting from me was my Vampiric Embrace and if he thought he could mitigate well enough, I’d go.  It was a clear refusal.  There was to be no discussion about it, it’s absurd to think that any tank could be healed through a heroic with VE, it doesn’t do that much, and everyone knows it.  It was my way of making it clear it wasn’t happening.  Sadly, he didn’t let it drop.  He’s the type who’s constantly respeccing.  He’s been known to be all three available specs in one day when he needs/wants to be.  It’s his prerogative, but he thinks that because he’s that flexible, so too should everyone else be.  He called me out in front of the entire guild, he told me I wasn’t a “team player.”  Of all thing things I hate to hear, that one tops the charts.  I’m a team player, I am, I’m not afraid or ashamed to say so.  He let it drop, eventually, but it’s stuck with me over the last few days.

If I won’t respec, I must not be a team player.  That’s the logic and it’s wrong.  Duel spec is only going to add to the pressure of hybrids to be more than they can or want to be.  While they benefit players who do want to be more, they put undue pressure on players who don’t.  Now, when I’m whispered to heal, it won’t be as simple as saying, “I’m shadow.”  Duel specs will mean I can, potentially, heal without paying to respec and change my glyphs.  I don’t like it and I’m certain I’m not alone.

So what’s the answer?  Honestly, I have no idea.  I might just pretend duel specs don’t exist.  I’ll just leave the secondary spec availability empty and when I get whispers in guild or out, I’ll tell them I’m shadow.  That’ll have to be the end of it.  Of course, having it empty will bug the heck out of me and so that’s not a 100% great option.  Like I said, I just simply have no good solution to the problem.  I’m feeling very much like I’m going to be stuck healing and people will die, because I’m not a good healer.  People are already prone to blaming the healer and if I’m forced/guilted into doing it, it will be the healer’s fault because I’m simply not capable of being good at it.

While writing this, I talked with Loveth about it a bit, I like to read him what I’m writing from time to time, when I know he’ll be interested.  He had a very good suggestion.  So good, in fact, that I’m kicking myself for not having thought of it.  He said, “Why not just make a shadow raid spec and a shadow PvP spec?  The difference in what you need for one is very different from the other.”  My goodness, he’s a genius!  Now, when I say “I’m shadow” I can mean it to the core without danger.  This sort of insight is why I love him!

I still feel, most of the time, like I’m the only person in the whole damn World (of Warcraft) that’s looking forward to duel specs with trepidation rather than excitement.   I can’t know what I’ll do or what will happen for sure until I see it and I’m failing at keeping an open mind about it.  I don’t want to be a healer.  Zahrah at Pugnacious Priest recently asked “Do you play a class - or a spec?”   I suppose, in answer to that question, while there’s more I could say having been a mage and Majesty having been my alt until recently, when it comes down to it, I rolled a class and became a spec.  I rolled a priest, I leveled discipline, I played holy at 70, and when Wrath hit I became a shadow priest through and through.  A healer no more, no matter what duel specs will try to make me.

…(¨`·.·´¨)
…..`·.¸.·Maeleigh