Can Money Really Buy Happiness

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This post attempts to provide some much needed insights on the age old question:

"Can money really buy happiness?"

A few months ago, i was having a discussion with my friend about the kind of life we're living in nowadays.

People are working longer hours than ever before and even well educated graduates struggle to afford a decent sized roof over their heads.

(The above statement may not be true for all countries, but it certainly is true for my country where land is scarce.)

We were then wondering, how can poor people survive in that case?

Recently, i just thought of the answer.

People with a lower earning power simply purchase a smaller apartment from the government.

These people must live in contentment with what they have.

In developed nations, people are working harder and harder, trying to afford bigger houses, and fill them up with more and more expensive stuff. In the process, they spend more time at work and neglect their loved ones in the process thinking that money can bring happiness.

Perhaps the richest person of all is the person that is filled with the abundance of love and joy and happiness, and not the world's richest person.

The bible tells us "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" What is the use of an abundance of money if all that you have is a host of "false friends" who stick with you in times of riches and success, but leave you at the first signs of trouble.

Perhaps the key to a happier life cannot be bought with common wealth, but generated through a deeper, fuller relationship with your loved ones. Maybe instead of working that extra overtime to earn a few extra dollars, you might consider going home early to spend more time with your family.

Thats where the interpersonal communication tips provided in this blog comes into play. Posts such as How to Win Friends and Influence People will really make a difference in your relationships and hopefully provide part of the key to happiness that everyone is searching for.

What is Signposting

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Imagine driving around an unfamiliar urban town. Sounds hard right? Now imagine driving around without the help of signposts to help guide you around.

In the same manner where signposts help motorists get to their desired destination, you can help your audience understand you better by using the technique known as “signposting”.

We all do some signposting in our natural conversation. Phases such as “on the other hand” and “in conclusion” are effective signposts that we use in everyday life.

So, what is signposting anyway?

Signposting is a technique to help people follow the meaning of what you are saying.

They act as guides to help the reader follow what you are saying throughout a conversation, helps in establishing rapport and helps them to categories what you are saying.

Here are more examples of signposting

To Begin Introducing your Point, you might consider starting with...

• I'd like to begin by...
• Let's start by...
• First of all, I'll...
• Starting with...
• To start with...
• I'll begin by...

For Finishing a Topic, try...

• Well, I've finished talking about...
• Well, that's all I have to say about...
• We've considered...
• So much for this subject...

To Start another topic, why not use...

• Now, let us move on to.
• Next, let us consider...
• Turning to...
• Moving on to...
• I would like now to discuss...

Applying Signposting Techniques in a discussion...

• So, where does that lead us?
• Let us consider this in more detail...
• What does this all mean?
• Translated this into real terms...

Giving an example...

• Here’s an example. I was...
• For example,...
• A good example of this is...
• To illustrate,...
• To give you an example,...
• To illustrate this point...
• Let’s consider a hypothetical situation for a moment. If you were to...
• Let me play the devil’s advocate for a moment. What might happen if...

To Summarize and conclude...

• In conclusion,...
• To conclude,...
• So, let's sum up, shall we?
• I would like now to recap...
• Let’s summarize what we’ve covered briefly...
• Finally, let me remind you of some of the issues we've covered...
• To sum up the main points...

To summarize what we’ve covered briefly, signposting is an effective method to help your audience follow what you are saying. Do try to keep it in mind whether you are communicating with a single individual, or to an entire audience. :)

Tips for Giving Effective Constructive Criticism

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In my previous post, "Giving Effective Constructive Criticism", we looked at some of the potential problems that could occur when giving criticism.

In this post, we will be trying to avoid these problems by exploring some tips as to how we can give effective constructive criticism.

Tips on Giving Effective Criticism

Criticize as Soon as Possible

This may initially sound rather contradictory to some. We have learn that criticisms may result in problems, so why then should we be quick to criticize?

Well, this is because criticism, like praise, is most effective when it is delivered close to the event. The earlier the criticism is delivered, the more effective it will be.

When employing this tactic, however, it is imperative to remember to separate your emotions from your criticism and to offer objective criticism to the other person. Also, remember to avoid criticizing anyone in front of other people as this seriously wounds a person's precious pride.

Be Specific in Your Criticism

Another recommended method in giving effective criticism is to be specific.

When you become more specific, your criticism will naturally become more objective and less emotional. Words become more quantifiable as a result, and less prone to gross generalizations that could occur in the heat of the moment.

Be Certain of the Facts

In the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People", Dale Carnegie suggests "I may be wrong but let's examine the facts". When you criticize or accuse somebody about something, it is imperative that you are sure of exactly what you are talking about.

There may be situations that exist where you might not be aware of. Thus, you should allow and give the other person the opportunity to explain his or herself.

When the person is trying to explain the situation, your body language should also reflect a open and receptive attitude towards his explaination.

Focus on the Positives

Even when you must criticize, try to focus on the positives. Do try to include or suggest ways on how the other person can improve instead of just listing down the other person's bad points.

Before you do criticize, try out this simple step.

Think of 3 positive aspects about the thing in which you intend to criticize before you actually verbalize it. You will find that often times, there is so much good being overlooked and we only focus on the infinitesimally small negative qualities.

In addition, maintain a positive body language to try to balance out the negatively of the situation. The more positively you handle the situation, the better the other person will feel about it and hence, this will increase your chances of success in trying to influence the other person's behavior.

In conclusion, if you do have to criticize, give constructive criticism and give it effectively. Giving constructive criticism helps to improve the other person by providing a valuable source of objective feedback which helps the other person to improve .

Do remember to consider the other person's feelings in all of your dealings and spread positivity whereever you go!

Giving Effective Constructive Criticism

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One of my previous posts, "Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain", I advocated the principle of doing away with criticism altogether.

Unexpectedly, this fundamental principle of good human relations drew a wide range of comments.

CK from A Singaporean in London commented: 'Real friends tell you what's wrong.'

Should good friends seek to criticize each other constructively when necessary? Or should they remain good friends by remaining silent?

Patricia Rockwell, a communications teacher with over 40 years of experience in the field, left this excellent comment:

"You can get that constructive criticism across to a friend without being negative yourself. Just couch your ideas as suggestions and keep it positive. What you are suggesting is an idea to help a fantastic person become even more fantastic!"

Giving praise is indeed an extremely powerful tool that is able to influence the actions of people. It can indeed help a fantastic person become even more fantastic!

Occasionally, there is a need to correct certain inappropriate or unacceptable behavior. But this brings forth certain pitfalls and difficulties.

Firstly, let us look at some problems when it comes to giving criticism.

Problem 1) - Few people enjoy being criticised or reprimanded. This invokes negative experiences as well as downbeat feelings. Such feelings inhibit positive behavior.

Problem 2) - Criticism often exaggerate negative situations in order to make a point.

For example: Occasional neglect to a wife or girlfriend might come out as "You never care about me!" This may trigger sparks of resentment that could ripple on for a lifetime.

Having explored the problems with criticism, do check out for my next post, "Tips for Giving Effective Constructive Criticism", which will look at some ways in which we can give effective criticisms.

Do remember to bookmark this post if you've enjoyed it.