Satire Report: What is your perspective?#links

Satire Report: What is your perspective?#links

More things to ponder....

Why, Why, Why,.............

Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weaker?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 's' in the word 'Lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

And finally.............

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends --- if they're okay, then it's you.

Its on your shoulders now Mr Obama

I have been following the US elections with great interest, either way this was set to be a record breaking contest - the oldest President or the first black President ( although I argue that Obama is as much white as he is black) Now we have finally reached the end and the world is looking to Obama for guidance and the solution to the worlds problems. He has promised to

provide everyone in America with health care,
sort out welfare,
lower taxes and raise taxes (not sure how that works,)

sort out the Middle East
be nice to China

feed the world (with a loaf of bread and five little fishys)
walk on water

Here's looking at you kid.....can he do it?#

YES HE CAN

Johann Hari: Don't kill the planet in the name of saving the economy - Johann Hari, Commentators - The Independent

"We are living through two great meltdowns – the credit crunch, and the climate crunch. The heating of the planet is now happening so fast it's hard to pluck a single event to fix on, but here's one. By the summer of 2013, the Arctic will be free of ice. How big an event it this?"read more - The Independent

Congratulations Mr President

Congratulations Mr President

The Daily SPAM: Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross to be executed

The Daily SPAM: Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross to be executed

Russell Brand and that Answer Phone message

The answer phone messages which eventually led to Russell Brands departure from Radio 2.

Some of the content may be offensive as they contain some expletive languge and comments of a sexual nature.

Part One


Part Two

So heads have rolled and Brand is first to go. He really did go too far this time and a fall from grace is perhaps what is deserved for this impossibly charming lothario. Chances are he may keep his Big Mouth firmly shut from now on but somehow I think this will provide some much needed publicity in time for the release of his new book.

A Long Exposure: 100 years of Guardian photography | Media | guardian.co.uk

A Long Exposure: 100 years of Guardian photography | Media | guardian.co.uk: "Guardian photographer Denis Thorpe and northern editor Martin Wainwright discuss an exhibition of pictures taken by the paper's Manchester photographers. The exhibition, curated by Thorpe, includes striking work taken since the paper appointed its first staff photographer, Walter Doughty, in 1908. A Long Exposure: 100 Years of Guardian Photography runs until March 1 2009 at The Lowry in Salford, Greater Manchester Guardian photographer Denis Thorpe and northern editor Martin Wainwright discuss an exhibition of pictures taken by the paper's Manchester photographers. The exhibition, curated by Thorpe, includes striking work taken since the paper appointed its first staff photographer, Walter Doughty, in 1908. A Long Exposure: 100 Years of Guardian Photography runs until March 1 2009 at The Lowry in Salford, Greater Manchester"

Facebook killer jailed for life - | MSN News UK - news & weather

A jealous husband who murdered his wife after she changed her status to "single" on Facebook has been jailed for life.

Lorry driver Wayne Forrester, 34, stabbed mother-of-two Emma Forrester to death in her home as a six-year-old girl cowered in an upstairs bedroom.

Forrester later told police he believed his wife was having an affair and felt humiliated that she was now declaring herself available on the social networking website.


The court heard how Mrs Forrester, a 34 year-old payroll administrator, had thrown her husband out of their home in New Addington, Surrey, after the breakdown of their volatile 15-year relationship.


Forrester became suspicious his estranged wife was having an affair and repeatedly threatened to kill her over the phone.

Fuelled by alcohol and cocaine, Forrester smashed his way into the house armed with a kitchen knife and a meat cleaver in the early hours of February 18 this year.He dragged his wife out of the marital bedroom, tearing clumps of her hair out, before stabbing her in the neck, stomach, arms, hands and head.


read more

Thou should not covet thy neighbours ass!

Thou should not covet thy neighbours ass!

Street View operatives object to being snapped • The Register

Edinburgh's Evening News has discovered that, when it comes to personal privacy, Google's Street View is a strictly one-way thoroughfare.

The paper was alerted yesterday that several examples of the Orwellian spycar fleet were being prepared for action at a disused garage site in Drum Brae South. It duly dispatched a snapper to record the action, but when he "began to capture the teams setting up the roof-mounted cameras, he was threatened with legal action".

Photographer Ian Georgeson explained: "I was standing on public ground taking photos of the cars when one of the drivers came over and said that they didn't want us to print their faces. He said if I used any shots of him they would sue us, because they were concerned about reprisals.

"He admitted they were a bit concerned about the way people would react to the cameras, but said they would be in Edinburgh for a couple of months at least trying to map the city."

Guy Herbert of UK civil liberties group No2ID told the Evening News: "That is an extraordinary situation, but it does seem to be the case that while large organisations, traditionally the police or councils, are happy to photograph the public, they are less keen on being photographed themselves.

"It would be interesting to see just what legal grounds they think they have to stop their picture being used that wouldn't also apply to the pictures they are taking, and I think they would be on pretty treacherous ground."

A spokesgooglette said the search monolith had "no problem with the cars being photographed, but admitted it did not want staff to be hindered in any way".

She concluded: "We are happy for people to take pictures of the cars - they are clearly identified as working for Google. We would not want our staff to be in any way stopped from doing their job, however."

Well, we're glad Google has no objection to people snapping its sinister black Opels, because here are the 110 or so sightings to date on El Reg's splendid Spot-the-Street-View Web 0.2 mashup:

Cardiff v's Swansea - the After Match Experience