(W) A week ago I drove three hours to surprise my boyfriend. He was not at home. He was three hours away, near my home, trying to surprise me. Bwagaga!

It was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right and realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting...

Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. Bwagaga!

(M) I was playing an on-line computer game and got into a virtual fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from virtual games for threatening children. Bwagaga!

(M) You know, once, I learned that piss does conduct electricity. My accuracy was good enough to pinpoint an electric fence. Bwagaga!